If It’s Not Your Body, It Shouldn’t Be Your Decision

Bodily Autonomy Should Not Be Up for Debate

There are moments when the world feels so heavy that it’s hard to even know where to begin. Lately, watching what is happening across the country regarding women’s rights and bodily autonomy is one of those moments, amongst many other things.

State by state, laws are being passed that restrict access to abortion, laws that don’t always account for the complexity of real life. Laws that don’t always leave room for trauma, for medical realities, or for the lived experiences of women.

And what is perhaps even more alarming is hearing stories of women being investigated or even arrested after miscarriages.

Let that sink in.

A woman loses a pregnancy, something that can already be physically and emotionally devastating, and instead of compassion, she is met with suspicion.

How did we get here?

When Policy Ignores Reality

As a survivor of childhood abuse, I cannot separate this conversation from what I know to be true on a deeply personal level. There are people in this world who take control of others’ bodies without consent.

So when laws are created that also take control away from women, especially in cases of assault, abuse, or coercion, it feels like a continuation of that same loss of autonomy.

The idea that a girl or woman could be raped or abused and then forced to carry that pregnancy to term is not just a policy issue.

It is psychological.

It is emotional.

It is lifelong.

Even in cases where a child is loved, and many are, there can still be a lasting imprint of how that child came to be. That complexity deserves acknowledgment, not dismissal.

We Also Have to Talk About the Most Vulnerable

There is another reality that often gets left out of this conversation, and it’s one we cannot ignore.

Some children experience sexual abuse before they even fully understand their own bodies.

This is not abstract for me. It is personal. I was sexually abused at a very young age, before I even got my period. I did not become pregnant, but I know now that it was a possibility.

And that’s the part that is hard to sit with.

Because there are young girls—9, 10 years old—who do get their periods. Children who are still learning, still growing, still supposed to be protected.

So we have to ask:

What happens when a child that young is abused, becomes pregnant, and is then told they have no choice but to carry that pregnancy to term?

That is not protection.

That is not care.

That is a continuation of harm.

This is child abuse.

It takes a child who has already had control over their body taken from them, and removes any remaining choice they have left.

If our laws do not account for the most vulnerable among us, then we need to question who those laws are truly protecting. Because protecting life should also mean protecting the child who is already here.

And right now, in too many cases, we are failing to do that.

A Question We Aren’t Asking Loud Enough

If laws are being created to control what women can and cannot do with their bodies… Then why are we not equally focused on the people who violate those bodies?

Why is the burden placed almost entirely on the person who was harmed?

If someone forces themselves on another human being, if they commit an act of violence that results in pregnancy, there should be severe, undeniable consequences.

Jail should not be optional in those cases.

Accountability should not be negotiable.

And it raises a hard question:

If someone proves through their actions that they are willing to violate another person’s autonomy in such a profound way, why are we not having stronger conversations about preventing them from causing further harm? Maybe take away their option to reproduce?

If women are losing choices over their own bodies, then why are we not removing choices from those who take that autonomy away in the first place?

Not Every Pregnancy Is Simple, or Safe

There is also a narrative that often gets lost in these conversations:

Not all bodies can safely carry a pregnancy.

This is not hypothetical. This is real.

Conditions like PCOS, fibroids, and endometriosis can make pregnancy incredibly complicated—or even dangerous. Add in layers of trauma stored in the body, and the picture becomes even more complex.

The body keeps score.

For some, pregnancy is not just physical, it can trigger deep nervous system responses tied to past trauma.

And beyond the physical realities, there are practical ones.

We are living in a time where many people are struggling just to meet basic needs. Housing, food, Healthcare, none of it is guaranteed.

So we have to ask:

Why are we forcing people into situations where they may not be able to provide for a child?

Why are we adding more children into a system that is already overwhelmed?

Why is compassion not leading these conversations?

This Is About Choice, Not Control

At its core, this conversation is not about politics.

It is about autonomy.

It is about the fundamental right to make decisions about one’s own body, one’s own health, and one’s own future.

It is about recognizing that real life is not black and white. That behind every situation is a story, often one we cannot see from the outside.

And it is about shifting the focus:

From controlling women

To protecting people

From punishing outcomes

To addressing causes

From silence

To accountability

Where Do We Go From Here?

We start by listening.

We start by believing survivors.

We start by acknowledging that trauma, health, and circumstance all matter.

And we start by asking better questions, ones that center humanity, not just policy.

Because no one should ever feel like their body is no longer their own.

And because doing better isn’t optional anymore.