Survivors’ Anthem Series #9: “Because of You” - Kelly Clarkson
- Shannon Brown
- Feb 7
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 23
The Song I Sang Through Tears While Processing Abuse
Some songs don’t just make you emotional.
They unlock emotions you didn’t even know you still had trapped inside.
This is Survivors’ Anthem #9, and it’s one of the most painful and healing songs in my entire journey:
“Because of You” - Kelly Clarkson
I connected with this song deeply as a young adult while I was processing the abuse I experienced from my step dad, and when a lot of repressed memories started resurfacing.
And that is the truth.
There were feelings I had spent years trying to keep controlled, because when you grow up in survival mode mixed with love, you learn to push pain down just to get through the day.
But eventually, the pain finds its way back up.
And when it did, this song became one of the places I went to let it out.
When I Needed to Cry, I Put This On
There were nights I didn’t know how to talk about what I was feeling.
Sometimes I didn’t even know what I was feeling - I just knew my chest was tight, my throat burned, and everything inside me felt heavy.
So I would put this song on.
And I would sing.
And I would cry.
Because this song gave me words for the emotions I carried in silence for too long.
It gave me permission to feel everything I had been holding back.
And in those moments, it wasn’t about sounding good.
It was about surviving the wave.
It was about releasing pain that didn’t belong in my body anymore.
Why “Because of You” Is a Survivor Anthem
This song is more than heartbreak.
It’s the reality of what happens when a person who was supposed to protect you becomes the reason you learned fear.
It’s the reality of what happens when home doesn’t feel safe.
It’s the way abuse changes the way you move through life:
the way you trust
the way you love
the way you anticipate danger
the way you blame yourself
the way you carry guilt that was never yours
And Kelly Clarkson says what so many survivors have felt but couldn’t always articulate:
That trauma doesn’t stay in the past.
It follows you.
It shapes you.
It lingers in your choices, your relationships, your nervous system, your self-worth.
This song voices what survivors often spend years trying to untangle:
What was done to me affected me.
And acknowledging that is not weakness.
It’s clarity.
It’s healing.
The Power of Letting It Out
One of the hardest parts of healing is realizing you’re allowed to be angry about what happened.
You’re allowed to be heartbroken about what happened.
You’re allowed to be devastated.
And you’re allowed to grieve the version of your life that should have been.
This song helped me do that.
It helped me grieve.
It helped me rage softly.
It helped me cry in a way that felt like medicine.
Because sometimes tears are not sadness…
They are release.
A Song for Survivors Who Became Adults Too Soon
Survivors often grow up fast.
We become hyper-aware.
We learn how to read rooms.
We learn how to protect ourselves emotionally.
We learn how to keep functioning no matter what we’re feeling.
But then adulthood comes… and suddenly those survival skills don’t feel like strength anymore.
They feel like exhaustion.
That’s why this song hit so hard as a young adult.
Because it spoke to the aftereffects.
The reality of carrying childhood trauma into adult life.
And it reminded me that I wasn’t alone in that.
That other people understood.
That this kind of pain had a voice.
A Thank You to Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson, thank you.
Thank you for writing a song that tells the truth about the long-term impact of abuse. Thank you for giving survivors language for the emotions that are hard to say out loud.
Thank you for singing what so many of us were trying to survive silently.
“Because of You” is not just a song.
It’s validation.
It’s grief.
It’s truth.
And it’s part of my healing.
From one survivor to you: thank you for helping me let it out.
What’s Next in the Survivors’ Anthem Series
Each Survivors’ Anthem post will include:
a featured song
why it mattered to me
what it helped me survive or process
and a reel where I sing a short part of it while honoring the artist behind it on my authors social media pages! Follow and like to stay tuned!
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever needed a song to cry to, not because you’re weak, but because you’ve held too much for too long, I want you to hear this:
You are allowed to feel.
You are allowed to grieve.
You are allowed to heal.
And you are not alone.
Listen to the Survivors' Anthem Playlist on Spotify and YouTube
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