Coming Home to St. Johnsbury: Where the Past and Present Met

There are places you visit, and then there are places that live inside you.

St. Johnsbury, Vermont, will always be the latter for me.

I grew up there. I learned there. I dreamed there. I survived there. Some of the happiest memories of my childhood live on those streets right alongside some of the hardest. There are buildings that remind me of laughter, movies, and books, and there are ordinary-looking patches of ground that hold memories most passersby would never guess existed.

This past weekend, I returned to St. Johnsbury for two deeply meaningful author events to kick off Domestic Violence Awareness Month and celebrate the release of my newest book, Because of Maddie: The Girl Who Said, “ENOUGH. ” But somewhere along the way, the trip transcended a standard book tour. It became a homecoming, a walk through my own history, and in a surreal, beautiful way, a journey directly through the pages of my books.

Walking Through Railroad Street

I spent time simply wandering around town, especially down Railroad Street. So much felt familiar, yet so much had shifted.

One particular spot stopped me in my tracks.

If you’ve read Because of Maddie, you know the significance attached to the local McDonald’s. Today, that building is gone; only a stone foundation marks where it once stood. To a stranger, it is just an empty plot of land. To me, it represents court-ordered trade-offs, the tangible memory of a child caught in circumstances she didn’t create and couldn’t control. Those moments eventually became central pieces of Maddie’s story.

Standing there as an adult was arresting: the physical structure had vanished, but the emotional imprint remained entirely intact. When you return to your childhood hometown as a memoirist, the landscape can shift, buildings can disappear, and businesses can close, yet the mind still projects the past onto the present with perfect clarity.

Finding New Memories Among the Old

Thankfully, coming home was not only about revisiting difficult shadows. It was also about rediscovering St. Johnsbury as it thrives today.

I stopped by the local bookstore called Boxcar and Caboose, which was every bit as warm and charming as a hometown bookshop ought to be. While there, I had a pinch-me moment: I signed a copy of Because of Jane. Seeing my work resting on a shelf in the very town where the story took root was indescribable. (To my St. Johnsbury readers: keep an eye out for that signed copy, and be sure to ask them about stocking Because of Maddie, too!)

I also made a run to Boule, whose artisan breads and pastries are legendary for good reason, the pastries were incredible.

Then came the food! I explored two spots that were brand-new to me:

• 98 Mill, an Italian pub and grill featuring a gorgeous riverfront deck and patio, with a menu full of wonderful Vermont touches like local maple flavors.

• The St. Johnsbury Distillery Speakeasy Prohibition Kitchen, where the artisanal spirits crafted on-site are infused right into the dishes, sauces, and cocktails.

  
  

Both were fantastic additions to downtown St. Johnsbury and proof that while our personal memories of a town might remain frozen in time, the community itself keeps living, evolving, and building new warmth over old foundations.

Echoes on Eastern Avenue

Walking up Eastern Avenue stirred another wave of nostalgia. My mother, now retired, worked as a parole officer whose office was located right near the Star Theatre. I lost count years ago of how many movies I watched there growing up. I do know I saw Titanic 3 times.

Passing it this weekend, however, carried a layered resonance: a pivotal scene in Because of Maddie takes place right at that theater.

Memoir does something unique to your perception. You see the physical location as it exists today, the version preserved in your childhood memory, and the version that now lives permanently on the page for others to experience. Places that were once private pieces of my upbringing have transformed into shared landmarks of Maddie’s journey.

Stories of Resilience and Recovery

On Friday evening, I walked into the historic St. Johnsbury Athenaeum for Umbrella NEK’s Stories of Resilience & Recovery event. I was honored to speak and read an excerpt from Because of Jane to help mark the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

What stayed with me most was not just the privilege of speaking, but the collective courage of everyone who stepped up to share. Every speaker brought a distinct path, yet all were connected by a single thread: resilience. Deciding that painful chapters will no longer remain hidden takes immense bravery.

Sharing our truths doesn’t erase what happened, but it builds an essential bridge. When an audience member hears their own quiet reality mirrored in someone else’s voice, the isolation shatters. That realization, I am not alone, is the heartbeat behind The Jane Project, my books, and ongoing advocacy for survivors. Storytelling reaches human depths that statistics never touch.

Inside the Sanctuary: The Athenaeum

The Athenaeum held an even deeper revelation.

When I was told my presentation would take place on the second floor, my instinctive thought was: Wait, the children’s room?

Decades ago, that room was my sanctuary. When childhood felt unmanageable, books offered an escape hatch. Within those walls, I disappeared into safe worlds, met characters who became faithful companions across hundreds of pages, and imagined better endings. Imagination was the one refuge nobody could take from me.

I climbed the stairs expecting the room of my memory, but found it transformed with art exhibits, speaking podiums, and rows of chairs. When I took my place behind that microphone, the weight of the moment washed over me:

I was standing in the very room where a frightened little girl once hid inside other people's stories. Only now, I stood there as an author, reading my own.

That little girl could never have imagined returning to that room with her own name on the cover of published books, let alone speaking to a room full of people listening to her journey to find healing. It was a full-circle moment that words can barely capture.

Full Circles

The timing held one more layer of meaning: October 3 was the release date for Because of Maddie: The Girl Who Said, “ENOUGH!”

I chose that date deliberately in honor of Papa’s birthday. His love and steady presence are woven throughout my life and the pages of both memoirs. Releasing Maddie’s story on his birthday, inside the library that once protected me as a child, felt like closing one circle and stepping boldly into the next.

You Can Go Home Again

People often say you can’t go home again, but that isn't quite true. You can, you just return as a different person. And the town won’t be frozen waiting for you, either. Buildings fall away, rooms change purpose, and life marches forward.

Underneath the physical changes, however, lie the emotional landmarks:

• This is where I survived.

• This is where I went to the movies.

• This is where I escaped into books.

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And now, I have layered them with new ones:

• This is where I signed my book.

• This is where I stood alongside fellow survivors.

• This is where I read my own words aloud in the room that once sheltered me.

  
  

For much of my youth, St. Johnsbury was simply the setting where hard things happened to me. This weekend, I returned with the full knowledge of what I built from that foundation: I became an educator, an author, and an advocate.

To Umbrella NEK, the St. Johnsbury Athenaeum, and every person who joined us: thank you for listening, sharing, and creating a space of such grace.

And to St. Johnsbury: thank you for the memories, the joyful and the complicated alike. Thank you for shielding a little girl when she needed an escape, and thank you for welcoming back the woman who survived long enough to tell the story.

🛡️ Survivor Support & Safety Awareness

Healing is emotional, but feeling physically safe matters, too.

That’s why I’m proud to continue partnering with Hootie Personal Safety Alarms as part of my advocacy work. I carry my Hootie with me in everyday life, on walks, outings, and anywhere having an extra layer of security can bring a little more peace of mind.

And this partnership goes beyond personal safety.

💜 For every 4 Hooties sold using my code, 1 is donated to a domestic violence shelter.

Visit GetHootie.com and use code JANE for 10% off.

Safety. Support. Empowerment. One Hootie at a time.

💜 Continue the Journey

The Survivors’ Anthem Series is more than a collection of songs. It’s a journey through survival, healing, memory, resilience, and reclaiming the pieces of ourselves that trauma tried to take away.

And now, that journey continues in more ways than ever.

🎶 Listen to the Survivors’ Anthem Series

Follow the playlists on Spotify and YouTube and discover the songs that have helped give survivors strength, comfort, courage, and a voice.

📖 Read Because of Jane

Winner of an International Impact Book Award, Because of Jane tells the story that helped inspire so much of the advocacy behind this series, a story of childhood trauma, survival, the comfort objects that help us endure, and finding a voice after silence.

📖 Continue the story with Because of Maddie: The Girl Who Said, “ENOUGH!”

Available now! Continue where Because of Jane left off, but this time, experience the story through Maddie’s eyes.

Her fear.

Her memories.

Her resilience.

Her voice.

Both books in the Because of Series are available now on Amazon, and Because of Maddie can also be ordered through your local bookstore.

🧵 Join The Jane Project

Everyone has a Jane.

Maybe yours was a doll, a stuffed animal, a song, a book, a person, a place, or something else entirely. The Jane Project invites survivors to share the people and things that helped them feel safe, seen, heard, or strong when they needed it most.

Because healing doesn’t happen in only one way.

Sometimes it begins with a story.

Sometimes it begins with a song.

Sometimes it begins with finally saying, “Enough.”

And sometimes, the thing that helped one survivor make it through becomes the thread of hope another survivor needs to keep going.

Together, we heal. Together, we speak. Together, we rise.