Survivors’ Anthem Series # 24: “Criminal” - Fiona Apple
- Shannon Brown
- Mar 9
- 3 min read
When Anger Becomes a Voice
Some survivor anthems feel empowering.
Some feel healing.
And some feel raw.
This is Survivors’ Anthem # 24:
“Criminal” - Fiona Apple and later Sarah Paulson.
And this song takes me back to 1997.
The First Time I Heard It
I remember seeing the music video for “Criminal” on TRL for the first time.
Something about it immediately pulled me in. The song wasn’t polished or cheerful. It was gritty, emotional, and unapologetic. Fiona Apple’s voice carried frustration, vulnerability, and defiance all at the same time.
At that point in my life, I was in the middle of some of the worst abuse from my stepfather.
I didn’t have the language yet to explain everything that was happening. But I knew how I felt.
Angry.
Confused.
Trapped.
And this song somehow held all of that emotion at once.
It felt rebellious. It felt messy. It felt honest.
Sometimes music gives you permission to feel emotions you don’t yet know how to express.
For me, “Criminal” became one of those songs.
Letting the Anger Out
Survivors often carry anger they don’t feel allowed to express.
We’re told to be quiet. To behave. To not cause problems.
But anger isn’t always destructive.
Sometimes anger is clarity.
Listening to Fiona Apple during those years gave me a place to channel frustration and pain that I didn’t feel safe expressing anywhere else. The music allowed me to release something inside of me that had been building for a long time.
There was something powerful about hearing a woman sing with that level of emotional honesty.
It reminded me that feelings didn’t have to stay buried.
When the Song Found Me Again
Years later, this song came back into my life in an unexpected way.
I was watching American Horror Story: Freak Show, a season that quickly became one of my favorites.
In one episode, Sarah Paulson’s twin characters perform “Criminal.”
The moment I heard those first notes again, it was like being pulled back in time. The emotions I had once connected to that song came rushing back all at once.
And I cried.
Feeling Like the “Freak”
The reason that moment hit so deeply wasn’t just nostalgia.
It was the theme of the show.
Freak Show is about outsiders — people who are misunderstood, judged, and treated as oddities by the world around them.
Growing up, that’s exactly how I often felt.
Different.
Misunderstood.
Like an outsider looking in.
When Sarah Paulson sang that song in that setting, it felt symbolic. It felt like a reminder that the people society labels as “different” often carry the deepest strength and resilience.
When Music Returns at the Right Time
Sometimes a song enters your life when you need it.
And sometimes it finds its way back years later when you need it again — but for a different reason.
“Criminal” first gave me a place to release anger and frustration as a teenager living in chaos.
Years later, hearing it again reminded me how far I had come.
It reminded me that the feelings I once struggled to understand had transformed into something else: awareness, strength, and voice.
A Thank You
To Fiona Apple — thank you for writing and performing music with such emotional honesty. Songs like this give people permission to feel things they might otherwise keep hidden.
And to Sarah Paulson, thank you for bringing that song back into my life through American Horror Story: Freak Show. Seeing that moment on screen reminded me that even the people who feel like outsiders can find power in their own stories.
Sometimes a song only needs to reach you once.
And sometimes…
It finds you again when you’re ready to hear it differently.
What This Anthem Means to Me
For me, this anthem represents something important in healing:
The moment when anger becomes voice.
The moment when emotions that once felt overwhelming start to make sense.
The moment when the outsider begins to understand their own strength.
Because sometimes the people who feel the most different…
Are the ones who learn how to survive.
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