Survivors’ Anthem Series # 40: “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold
Trying to Feel Like Yourself Again
Some survivor anthems are about strength.
Some are about survival.
And some speak directly to the exhausting reality of trying to feel okay again.
This is Survivors’ Anthem # 40:
And this song hit hard for me because it captured something I struggled with deeply during my mental health journey:
Trying to find the right balance while navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, and medication.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
There was a period in my life where my mental health felt like a constant roller coaster.
After surviving trauma and carrying years of emotional weight, I reached a point where I knew I needed help.
And getting help is important.
But something people don’t talk about enough is how exhausting the process can sometimes feel.
Trying new medications.
Adjusting doses.
Waiting weeks to see if something works.
Feeling too emotional one moment… and emotionally numb the next.
It can feel overwhelming.
Wanting Relief Without Losing Yourself
That’s why “Numb Little Bug” resonated with me so deeply.
Because there’s this strange place many people experience where you desperately want relief from anxiety and depression…but you also don’t want to stop feeling like yourself.
You want peace.
But you don’t want numbness.
And finding the balance between those things can take time.
Mental Health Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
One of the hardest lessons I learned is that mental health treatment is deeply personal.
What works for one person might not work for another.
And that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your brain, body, experiences, and trauma are uniquely your own.
For survivors especially, mental health can become layered.
Anxiety.
Depression.
Hypervigilance.
Emotional exhaustion.
Trauma responses.
They often overlap in complicated ways.
And healing is rarely linear.
The Pressure to Pretend You’re Fine
This song also captures something else survivors know all too well:
The pressure to appear okay while struggling internally.
To smile when you’re overwhelmed.
To function when you’re exhausted.
To keep going because you feel like you have to.
And sometimes…you become so used to surviving that you don’t even realize how depleted you are until your body and mind force you to stop.
You Are Not Broken
One thing I want survivors to know, especially during Mental Health Awareness Month, is this:
Needing help does not make you weak.
Trying medication does not make you weak.
Therapy does not make you weak.
Struggling does not make you weak.
Your brain and body are responding to things they were forced to carry for far too long.
And healing takes time.
A Thank You
To Em Beihold, thank you for creating a song that speaks honestly about mental health in a way that feels both relatable and deeply human.
Thank you for helping people feel less alone in the complicated process of trying to feel okay again.
What This Anthem Means to Me
For me, this anthem represents honesty.
The honesty of admitting that healing is hard sometimes.
The honesty of acknowledging that mental health journeys are messy.
And the honesty of saying:
I’m trying.
Because sometimes that alone takes incredible strength.
Mental Health Awareness Month
As Mental Health Awareness Month comes to a close, I want to remind survivors of something important:
💚 You are not “too much.”
💚 You are not failing.
💚 You are not weak for needing support.
💚 You deserve care too.
Mental health struggles are not character flaws.
And survivors deserve compassion, including from themselves.
What’s Next in the Survivors’ Anthem Series
Every song in this series represents a different stage of healing.
Some songs helped me survive.
Some helped me process pain.
Some helped me find my voice.
This anthem represents something equally important:
The reality of trying to heal.
As the series continues, I’ll keep sharing the songs that shaped my journey through survival, healing, mental health, and strength.
Because sometimes healing begins…the moment we stop pretending we’re okay and allow ourselves to seek help.
💜 Continue the Journey
The Survivors’ Anthem Series is more than a collection of songs, it’s a journey through survival, healing, and strength.
If this story resonated with you, there are more ways to stay connected and keep exploring:
🎧 Listen to the Survivors’ Anthem Playlists
Experience every song in the series on Spotify and YouTube, music that tells stories of survival, healing, and hope.
📖 Read Because of Jane
Go deeper into the story behind the series and the experiences that shaped it. Get your copy on Amazon.
💜 Learn About The Jane Project
Discover a space created for survivors to share what helped them through, because everyone has their own “Jane.”
Because sometimes the songs that help us most…
are the ones that remind us we are not alone in the struggle.
🛡️ Survivor Support & Safety Awareness
Part of healing is also finding ways to feel safe again.
That’s why I’m proud to be in collaboration with Hootie Security Alarms.
As a survivor of childhood abuse and domestic violence, personal safety is incredibly important to me. Hootie alarms provide an added layer of protection and peace of mind for women, survivors, students, children, travelers, anyone who wants to feel safer walking through the world.
And the part that means the most to me:
💜 For every 4 Hooties I sell, 1 is donated to a domestic violence shelter to a survivor who may need this protection now.
If you would like to support both survivor safety and domestic violence awareness, you can order through:
👉 Use code JANE for 10% off your order
Because everyone deserves to feel safe.
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