Survivors’ Anthem Series # 61: “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson

What We Leave Behind: Finding the Courage to Grow Beyond the Life We Once Knew

*The Music That Helped Us Heal | November: A Season of Gratitude, Growth, and Letting Go*

November is here. A month when we often find ourselves reflecting on gratitude, family, togetherness, and the things we are thankful for.

But this year, I want to approach Thanksgiving month a little differently through the Survivors’ Anthem Series. Because gratitude isn't always about what we have.

Sometimes it's about what we've left behind. The places that hurt us. The expectations that limited us. The relationships that made us question our worth. The versions of ourselves we created simply to survive.

And sometimes, it's about recognizing just how much courage it took to become the person we are today.

For Survivors’ Anthem # 61, we're beginning November with a song that has followed me through different chapters of my life.

"Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson.

This week's theme is" What We Leave Behind."

And the message is one I've had to learn through years of healing:

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting where we came from.

Sometimes it means finally giving ourselves permission to grow beyond it.

The Little Girl Who Dreamed of Somewhere Else

When I think about “Breakaway,” I think about the little girl I used to be. A little girl growing up in Vermont who loved books, music, imagination, and stories.

A little girl who dreamed about a life beyond the circumstances she was living in. And a little girl who sometimes felt that the world around her was much smaller than the one she imagined.

Growing up with childhood abuse changes the way you experience the world. For me, imagination became a refuge. Books became an escape. Music became a language for feelings I couldn't always express.

I dreamed about being somewhere else. Not necessarily because I didn't love where I came from. I love Vermont. I love the Northeast Kingdom. I love the memories, people, and places that made my hometown special.

But there were parts of my childhood I desperately wanted to escape. I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe. Somewhere I could be myself. Somewhere I didn't have to worry about what might happen next. And somewhere I could finally discover who I was outside of the abuse.

I wasn't trying to leave behind everything I loved. I was trying to find a life where the things that hurt me no longer controlled me.

When Survival Keeps You Small

One of the things I've learned about trauma is how easily survival can become a way of life. When you're growing up in an abusive environment, you may learn to make yourself smaller.

You learn when to speak. When to stay quiet. How to read someone's mood. How to avoid conflict. How to keep the peace. How to become the version of yourself that feels least likely to cause trouble.

For years, I carried some of those behaviors into adulthood. I second-guessed myself. I worried about disappointing people. I questioned whether my feelings were valid. I struggled with the idea that my needs mattered just as much as everyone else's.

And sometimes, I found myself making decisions based on what other people expected rather than what I truly wanted. That's one of the hardest things about healing from childhood trauma.

You don't simply leave the environment behind. You have to unlearn the ways you were taught to survive inside it.

And that takes time.

Breaking Away Doesn't Always Mean Leaving a Place

When we hear the phrase *break away*, we often imagine someone packing a suitcase and starting over somewhere new.

Sometimes that's exactly what it looks like. But sometimes breaking away happens quietly. It happens when you establish a boundary for the first time.

When you stop apologizing for having feelings. When you recognize that someone else's disappointment doesn't mean you've done something wrong. When you stop trying to become the person everyone else wants you to be. When you finally allow yourself to dream about something bigger.

For me, breaking away has happened in stages. Some were enormous. Others were so small that nobody else would have noticed. But every one of them mattered. Because each step brought me a little closer to the person I wanted to become.

The Expectations We Carry

I've spent a lot of my life trying to understand the expectations placed on me. Some came from other people. Some came from society. And some came from the little girl inside me who learned that keeping everyone else happy was the safest way to exist.

Be good. Don't make anyone upset. Don't cause problems. Don't be difficult. Don't take up too much space. Don't make anyone uncomfortable. Those messages can become deeply rooted.

And when you've spent years believing them, choosing yourself can feel incredibly uncomfortable. But healing has taught me that I am allowed to have my own dreams. My own opinions. My own boundaries. My own voice.

I don't have to remain the person I became in order to survive someone else's behavior.

I am allowed to grow beyond the expectations that once kept me small.

The Courage to Become an Author

One of the biggest ways I've broken away from my past has been through writing. For years, the stories of my childhood lived inside me. Some were memories I didn't know how to explain. Some were experiences I had spent years processing. And some were truths I had been afraid to say out loud.

When I began writing *Because of Jane*, I was doing more than creating a book. I was giving myself permission to tell my story. I was allowing the little girl who had been silenced to finally be heard. And when I continued with *Because of Maddie: The Girl Who Said, “ENOUGH!”*, I was taking another step forward.

I was no longer allowing the people who hurt me to control the narrative. I was reclaiming it. That decision opened doors I never imagined. Becoming a published author. Meeting readers who connected with my story. Speaking publicly about survival. Advocating for people who are still searching for their voices. Creating The Jane Project. Building the Survivors’ Anthem Series. And discovering that something born from incredibly painful experiences could become a source of connection and hope for others.

I didn't forget where I came from.

I used my story to help create where I was going.

Kelly Clarkson and the Power of “Breakaway”

I've always admired Kelly Clarkson's ability to bring emotion into her music. There is something incredibly relatable about her voice. She can make a song feel personal, even when thousands of people are listening to it for completely different reasons.

“Breakaway” is one of those songs. For some listeners, it's about leaving a small town. For others, it's about growing up. Following a dream. Finding independence. Starting over.

But for survivors, I think it can represent something even deeper.

The courage to imagine a life beyond the one we've been taught to accept.

Sometimes the hardest part of changing your life is believing you're allowed to want something different. And sometimes music gives us that permission before we're ready to give it to ourselves.

You Can Love Where You Came From and Still Need to Grow

This is something that feels especially meaningful to me. I love my Vermont roots. I love being from St. Johnsbury. I love the memories of growing up in the Northeast Kingdom that have nothing to do with abuse.

The places.

The people.

The traditions.

The beauty of home.

And returning to St. Johnsbury as an author and advocate has been an incredibly meaningful experience. Because I can stand in the place where so much of my story began and recognize that I'm not the same little girl who once felt powerless.

I've grown.

I've changed.

I've built a life.

I've found my voice.

And I've returned with stories that I once struggled to speak aloud. That is something I never could have imagined as a child.

Breaking away doesn't mean rejecting every part of your past.

It means learning which parts deserve to come with you and which parts you're finally ready to leave behind.

Gratitude Doesn't Mean Being Thankful for the Trauma

As we enter Thanksgiving month, I want to make an important distinction. Survivors are sometimes told that everything happens for a reason. That our struggles made us stronger. That we should be grateful for what we went through because it shaped who we became.

But I don't believe survivors owe gratitude to the people or experiences that hurt them. I am not thankful that I was abused. I'm not thankful for the fear. The shame. The confusion. The years of healing.

I didn't need to experience those things to deserve a meaningful life. But I can be grateful for the people who helped me survive. For the books that gave me somewhere to escape. For the music that helped me express feelings I couldn't explain. For the people who believed me. For the relationships I've built. For the opportunities I've created. For the strength I've discovered.

And for the life I continue building.

I can be grateful for where I am without being grateful for what was done to me.

That distinction matters.

Leaving Behind the Versions of Ourselves That Kept Us Safe

Sometimes the hardest thing to leave behind isn't a person or a place. It's a version of ourselves. The people-pleaser. The girl who never said no. The person who apologized for everything. The one who believed love had to be earned. The one who thought being quiet would keep everyone happy. The one who made herself smaller so others wouldn't feel threatened.

Those versions of ourselves served a purpose.

They helped us navigate circumstances we didn't know how to escape. And I don't want to look back at those versions of myself with shame. I want to look at them with compassion. Because they did what they could with the tools they had.

But I also want to remind myself that I don't have to remain that person forever.

I can thank the younger version of myself for helping me survive while giving the woman I am today permission to live differently.

What “Breakaway” Means to Me Today

Today, this song reminds me that growth doesn't always happen all at once.

Sometimes it begins with a thought.

A dream.

A decision.

A small act of courage.

And then another.

And another.

Until one day you look around and realize you've built a life that once seemed impossible. I think about the little girl in Vermont who used books and imagination to escape. The teenager who struggled to find her voice. The young woman who carried so many expectations. And the adult who eventually decided her story deserved to be heard.

I haven't forgotten any of those versions of myself. They're all part of me. But they no longer have to define the limits of who I can become.

I am allowed to keep growing.

And so are you.

Why “Breakaway” Belongs in the Survivors’ Anthem Series

This series has always been about more than surviving. It's about what happens afterward.

The healing.

The rebuilding.

The rediscovery.

The moments when we begin to recognize that our lives belong to us.

“Breakaway” belongs here because it reminds us that we are not required to remain inside the circumstances that shaped us.

We can honor our past without allowing it to dictate our future. We can love people while recognizing that certain relationships or expectations are no longer healthy for us. We can appreciate where we came from while still wanting to discover what lies beyond it.

And we can grow without feeling guilty for changing.

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting where we came from. It means recognizing that we deserve the freedom to decide where we go next.

💜 A November Reflection: What Are You Ready to Leave Behind?

As we begin this month of gratitude, I want to invite you to think about something.

Not just what you're thankful for. But what you're ready to release.

Maybe it's guilt.

Maybe it's an expectation someone placed on you.

Maybe it's the belief that you're not good enough.

Maybe it's a relationship that has kept you from growing.

Maybe it's the idea that your past determines your future.

Or maybe you're still figuring it out.

That's okay too.

You don't have to make a dramatic change overnight. Sometimes recognizing what no longer serves you is the first step toward something new. And sometimes breaking away doesn't mean walking out of a door.

Sometimes it means finally believing you're allowed to open one.

🛡️ Survivor Support & Safety Awareness

As we move beyond Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I want to remind everyone that survivor advocacy doesn't end when October does.

Survivors need support, resources, and opportunities to rebuild throughout the entire year.

That's why I'm proud to continue my collaboration with Hootie Personal Safety Alarms as part of my advocacy work.

💜 **For every 4 Hooties I sell, 1 is donated to a domestic violence shelter.

Visit **gethootie.com** and use code *JANE* for *10% off*

A personal safety alarm is one possible safety tool, not a substitute for individualized safety planning or professional support. Every survivor's circumstances are different, and safety decisions should always respect their needs and autonomy.

Because everyone deserves the opportunity to build a life where they feel safe, supported, and free to grow.

Continue the Journey

Every book, conversation, and shared story is another opportunity to help someone feel seen. If you’d like to keep exploring my work, here are a few ways to stay connected.

📚 Read the Because of Series

Begin with Because of Jane, where a childhood doll bears witness to a little girl’s experiences of abuse, survival, and hope. Then continue with Because of Maddie: The Girl Who Said “ENOUGH” to hear Maddie’s own voice as she begins to reclaim her story.

🎶 Explore the Survivors Anthem Series

Discover the songs that have helped me find comfort, express difficult emotions, and celebrate surviving. Through personal reflections, I share how music has accompanied different chapters of my life, and invite you to consider the anthems that have carried you through yours.

Read the stories behind the songs on my blog, then listen to the Survivors Anthem Series playlists on YouTube and Spotify. Whether you need a moment of comfort, a good cry, or a reason to sing at the top of your lungs, I hope you find a song that meets you where you are.

🧵 Add Your Thread to The Jane Project

Everyone has a Jane: a doll, stuffed animal, treasured object, or source of comfort that helped them feel less alone. The Jane Project brings those stories together, creating a community connected by the things that helped us hold on. Who was your Jane? Your story can add another thread to our growing web of survivor strength.

📅 Meet Me at an Event

Visit my events page for upcoming book fairs, signings, readings, and speaking engagements. Whether you’ve read my books or are discovering them for the first time, I would love to meet you and hear what brought you to my table.

💜 Keep Reading the Blog

Explore more personal reflections on survival, healing, advocacy, writing, and the everyday joys that belong in our stories, too. Some posts hold difficult memories. Others celebrate friendship, music, books, and the moments that make life feel full.

🔗 Find It All Through My Linktree

Explore my books, projects, playlists, social media, and more at https://linktr.ee/shannonbrownauthor. Choose whatever speaks to you, and continue the journey with me.

Thank you for making room for my story. I hope something you find here helps you feel more connected to your own. 💜

And as we begin November, I want to leave you with a question:

What is one thing you've left behind that allowed you to grow?

• Maybe it was fear.

• Maybe it was someone else's expectations.

• Maybe it was an old belief about yourself.

• Or maybe you're still working toward that moment.

Whatever your answer, remember this:

• You can be grateful for where you came from without being required to stay there.

• You can honor the person you were while celebrating the person you're becoming.

• And you can carry the lessons of yesterday without allowing them to limit tomorrow.

Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to grow beyond the life we once knew.

We don't have to forget where we came from to finally break away. 💜