Survivors’ Anthem Series #22: “You Don’t Own Me” - Lesley Gore
- Shannon Brown
- Mar 6
- 4 min read
The Song That Taught Me My Voice Was Mine
Some survivor anthems arrive later in life, when you finally understand your strength.
Others show up much earlier, before you even realize how much you will need them.
This is Survivors’ Anthem # 22:
“You Don’t Own Me” — Lesley Gore
And this song goes all the way back to my childhood.
My First Favorite Singer
Lesley Gore was actually my first favorite singer.
I was introduced to her music through the movie Problem Child, and I instantly loved her voice and the emotion behind her songs. For a long time, my favorite was “It’s My Party,” and I would sing it constantly like so many kids do when they discover music they connect with.
But as I got older, another song of hers started to take on a deeper meaning for me.
“You Don’t Own Me.”
When the Lyrics Hit Different
Even as a child, there was something about that song that felt powerful.
The message was clear and unapologetic: no one has the right to control you, define you, or claim ownership over your life.
For someone growing up in a situation where control and manipulation were constant, those lyrics felt like rebellion.
They felt like truth.
I didn’t fully understand everything I was feeling at the time, but I knew one thing very clearly, I wanted the freedom that song was singing about.
Feeling Trapped
As a child and teenager, I lived in an environment where my autonomy was constantly stripped away.
My stepfather treated me like something he could control. He dictated who I could see unknowingly yo everyone else, who I could talk to, and who I could date, which was no one. If I showed interest in someone, he would threaten to hurt them.
At the same time, he constantly tore me down.
He would tell me I was too fat for anyone to ever love me. He would humiliate me in front of his friends, making cruel comments about my body while I stood there trying to disappear.
And yet the same person who degraded me would turn around and try to claim ownership over me.
That contradiction is something many survivors understand all too well.
The Song I Sang When No One Was Listening
When I felt trapped, I would go to my room and blast “You Don’t Own Me.” I am surprised how long that cassette tape lasted!
I would sing it at the top of my lungs.
Sometimes through tears.
Sometimes through anger.
But always with a kind of determination.
Because even though my reality didn’t match the message yet, the song gave me something important: a glimpse of what freedom sounded like.
In those moments, I wasn’t powerless.
I was someone declaring that I belonged to myself.
Why This Song Is a Survivor Anthem
“You Don’t Own Me” was released in 1963, long before conversations about autonomy, boundaries, and empowerment became more common.
But the message is timeless.
No one owns your body.
No one owns your voice.
No one owns your future.
For survivors, reclaiming that truth can take years.
But once you do, it changes everything.
A Thank You
Lesley Gore - thank you.
Thank you for recording a song that has echoed across generations of women and survivors who needed to hear those words.
Your voice gave a young girl sitting alone in her room something she desperately needed:
A reminder that even when someone tries to take your power, it still belongs to you.
What This Anthem Means to Me Now
When I sing that song now, it feels different.
Not because the pain is gone — but because the truth of the lyrics finally matches my life.
I am not owned.
I am not controlled.
I am not defined by what someone tried to take from me.
I am my own person.
And that truth is louder than anything that tried to silence me.
What’s Next in the Survivors’ Anthem Series
Every song in this series represents a different chapter of healing.
Some songs helped me survive childhood.
Some helped me process anger and grief.
Some reminded me I wasn’t alone.
And others helped me reclaim my voice and my power.
“You Don’t Own Me” represents something foundational, the moment a survivor begins to understand that their body, their voice, and their future belong to them alone.
As this series continues, I’ll keep sharing the songs that helped shape my journey through survival, healing, advocacy, and strength. Music has a way of reaching places words sometimes can’t, and many of these songs carried me through moments when I felt trapped, unheard, or alone.
If you are reading along and there is a song that helped you survive, heal, or find your voice, I would love to hear it.
Because sometimes the most powerful healing happens when we realize we’re not the only ones who needed that song.
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