Survivors’ Anthem Series # 41: “My Immortal” - Evanescence
- Shannon Brown
- Jun 3
- 4 min read
When the Past Refuses to Stay Buried
Some survivor anthems are empowering.
Some help us find our voice.
And some sit with us in the darkest moments when we're trying to understand what happened to us.
This is Survivors’ Anthem # 41:
And for me, this song became a lifeline during one of the most difficult periods of my healing journey.
When the Memories Came Back
When I left for college, it was the first time I was truly on my own.
For most people, college is about independence.
New friends.
New experiences.
A new chapter.
For me, it was also terrifying.
For the first time, I was away from the safety of my mom and away from the home that had become my refuge.
And something happened that I wasn't prepared for.
The memories came back.
Memories I had buried.
Memories I had repressed.
Memories of abuse that my mind had locked away to help me survive.
What started as fragments became a flood.
And suddenly I found myself trying to make sense of things I had spent years not remembering.
Haunted by Ghosts
One of the reasons "My Immortal" resonated so deeply with me is because it perfectly captured what that experience felt like.
Not literal ghosts.
But the ghosts of my past.
The memories.
The pain.
The fear.
The questions.
No matter how hard I tried to focus on classes, friends, or building a new life, those ghosts followed me.
The trauma wanted to be acknowledged.
The memories wanted to be heard.
And they refused to leave me alone.
Understanding Trauma
One thing many people don't realize is that repressed memories can return when survivors finally reach a place where their brain believes they are safe enough to process them.
At the time, I didn't understand that.
I only knew I felt overwhelmed.
Confused.
Scared.
Heartbroken.
I felt like I was reliving things I had already survived.
And that was exhausting.
A Song That Understood
"My Immortal" became one of those songs I played on repeat.
It felt like someone understood what it was like to carry pain that wouldn't leave.
To feel haunted by things that happened years ago.
To desperately want peace while feeling trapped by memories.
Music has always been one of my greatest tools for healing.
And during that time, this song gave me a place to put emotions I couldn't yet explain.
Amy Lee's Voice
I would be lying if I didn't also talk about Amy Lee.
I have always been in love with her voice.
There is something haunting, beautiful, vulnerable, and powerful about the way she sings.
She doesn't just perform a song.
She makes you feel it.
And in "My Immortal," every note carries emotion.
Every lyric feels like grief.
Every moment feels honest.
That honesty is part of what made this song so important to me.
What This Anthem Means to Me
For me, this anthem represents a turning point.
Not because healing suddenly became easy.
But because it was the beginning of understanding.
The beginning of acknowledging what happened.
The beginning of realizing that the memories weren't coming back to destroy me.
They were coming back because my mind was finally ready to process them.
And while that process was painful, it was also the beginning of deeper healing.
A Thank You
To Evanescence and Amy Lee, thank you for creating a song that made so many people feel seen.
Thank you for giving survivors a place to put grief, pain, and memories that are difficult to explain.
And thank you for creating music that reminds us we are never as alone as we think we are.
What’s Next in the Survivors’ Anthem Series
Every song in this series represents a different chapter of healing.
Some songs helped me survive.
Some helped me find my voice.
Some helped me understand my trauma.
This anthem represents something just as important:
Facing the memories that refused to stay silent.
As the series continues, I'll keep sharing the songs that shaped my journey through survival, healing, and hope.
Because sometimes healing begins when we stop running from the ghosts of our past and finally allow ourselves to listen.
🛡️ Survivor Support & Safety Awareness
Part of healing is also finding ways to feel safe again.
That's why I'm proud to be in collaboration with Hootie Security Alarms. 💜
As a survivor of childhood abuse and domestic violence, personal safety is incredibly important to me.
💜 For every 4 Hooties I sell, 1 is donated to a domestic violence shelter.
Visit gethootie.com and use code JANE for 10% off your order.
Because everyone deserves to feel safe.
💜 Continue the Journey
The Survivors’ Anthem Series is more than a collection of songs, it's a journey through survival, healing, and strength.
📖 Read Because of Jane, an International Impact Book Award Winner.
💜 Learn about The Jane Project
Because sometimes the song that helped you heal... is the one someone else needs to hear next.
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